Monday, June 30, 2008

Porn is not bad, unless it is bad porn

Make no mistake about it, I am a feminist. I believe that my gender should have nothing to do with the opportunities available to me, nor should it impact my pay. In my mind freedom to choose does NOT mean every woman will become a CEO or a high paid corporate lawyer. I personally turned down a fast track career because of the impact it would have on my family and personal life. Does this make me less of a feminist? Some would say yes.. I betrayed the struggle of my sisters because I did not fulfill my corporate potential. Personally, I believe it makes me MORE of a feminist, because I had the freedom to choose my own path and chose a way that was important to me.
Even more controversial to many of my sister feminists? I love porn. I should clarify, I love great porn. Steamy, hot well filmed, well written porn that gets your panties into a twist from the first panting breath.

I know all the arguments that porn objectifies women and turns men into some sort of sexual addicts. Balderdash! I will agree that bad porn ( not bad because of the content, but bad because of the quality of the writing and production)- formulaic, trite and well, boring- demeans everyone who participates. Not because it transforms humans into living statues.. but because it turns off their brains.

Porn takes many forms, but the best of it engages the mind as well as the hormones.. each feeding the other into an ever rising spiral of orgasmic ecstasy. Bad porn can send even the strongest hormones crashing into the cellar as you sit and cringe at the painfulness of it.

I have better opinions of men than to think that some steamy pictures, a great movie that leaves you a bit drippy or a well written bit of erotica will turn them into some sort of de-evolved being unable to control their actions. Women manage to look at very hot men all the time without turning into rampaging herds of hormonal ninnies ( have you SEEN the latest clips for the new Bond movie??)-- why do we not credit men with the same capabilities?

Porn fills many roles. Some porn makes great background noise and sets a mood, some of it is just sheer amusement and makes me laugh. Some inspires, challenges or informs. Sometimes is is just the main event and makes you sit, mouth gaping and mind boggling. I have watched/listened to porn many ways; alone in the dark, with the man I love, with a group of friends,in hotel rooms and in the back of a van at a XXX drive in. I have listened to porn on tape driving long distances, while grocery shopping, or at the farmer's market(it is true.. you never know what is on the other person's iPod). I have never seen anyone have irristible urges to jump unwilling strangers after partaking of porn.

What annoys me most about porn? All the slimy low life marketers who try to latch onto it and layer ad after ad after mazed linked on top of it. I recently decided that having porn on the PSP while we had an adult only weekend and had lots of driving to do this weekend coming would be fun. I am Still trying to sort out the twisted history of links my browser wanted to hop through, and I still have nothing good to distract us across the miles. The fact that porn is viewed as just slightly above drug dealing in society means that every low life creeping element is attached to it and it is way more difficult to find decent porn than it should be.

What we really need is not less porn-- just less bad porn and easier to locate great porn.

The things my couch ate

The remote control for our TV had been missing for over 36 hours. Not the remote to the IPTV, or the remote to the DVD or the remote to the Raiku.. not even the remote to the iPod dock... but the one to the actual TV... the one that lets us switch between input signals, turn CC off and on, etc.. ( can you see why I have a Drawer for remotes alone?)

We had looked in all the obvious places... under the couch cushions, under the couch, in the kitchen, in my younger daughter's bedroom ( she walks off with things in her hands all the time),downstairs by the other tv, in the laundry room, in the kitchen by the phone.

No luck, no remote.

Finally frustrated, the thought occurred to me that maybe the remote had not merely fallen under the cushions but down "inside" the couch.. in that odd space that pinches your hand if you remove the cushions, squish down the springs and stick your hand in "under" the back of the couch.

Sure enough, I pulled out the missing remote. In addition to some gigantic dustbunnies and odd crumbs, I also pulled out the following:

1 telephone handset, missing for about 10 days. Battery dead. ( sitting on charger now)
1 remote control to the boombox in the basement
1 telephone handset to the OLD phone system we had about 2 years ago... other pieces long gone
5 pencils
2 pens
1 pen style DS stylus
6 cents
a plastic frog dog toy ( dog long gone)
a squishy rubber toy worm
1 brush
1 pair socks
1 small fabric bag
1 hair clip ( eldest daughter's)
GBA Pokemon Sapphire game

Apparently, I need to remove the couch cushions and reach deep into the couch about once a week to find what new things it has eaten.....